Do
these thoughts excite you? More likely they fill
you with dread. Most people when confronted with
outside-the-box opportunities like these find themselves
scrambling backward. What they do every day seems
so ordinary to them that it's dismissed without
a second thought.
Why?
One reason may be that we often don't think of ourselves
in big enough terms. We ignore the enormous progress
we've already made, and then also ignore our potential
to grow, expand and thrive at an even higher level.
In
brief, we give themselves almost no recognition
for all the know-how and the skills we've built
up over the years. To paraphrase Rodney Dangerfield,
"We don't get no respect... from ourselves."
Joyce
was a typical example. She provided several forms
of massage therapy, reiki, and other energy balancing
for her clients. She had a high client retention
rate, meaning they were happy with her services.
She did a lot of good for her people and was constantly
studying to update and improve her skills. But she
had a mental block about learning to promote herself.
She
called it "sleazy" and "nothing but
selling and promoting" just for the money.
As a result, even though clients stayed with her
for a long time, when one did stop coming, she had
no system for attracting a new client.
After
nearly four years of limping along in business,
Joyce still wasn't paying her bills regularly, so
she felt forced to close her doors and take a "regular"
job clerking in a bookstore.
Ironically,
she now found herself selling. And all because she
didn't realize she could become very good at promotion
and selling if she had only adjusted her mental
limits and given herself permission to be more.
Or
she could have simply delegated the job; hired someone
to do what she didn't enjoy. What stopped her from
delegating? "That costs too much, and I don't
have the money to start."
Phil,
on the other hand, was a good at selling. He had
his own one-man sales operation, but never hired
new salesmen to expand his business. He insisted,
"I'm not a manager, I'm a salesman."
Becky
sold information products through her website. She
was making a fair part-time income, but she couldn't
get past $1,000 a month. At the discussion forum
where she spent time, she received several suggestions
for expanding her business. One person offered to
teach her how to do interviews and record them as
new info products. Another suggested she do some
joint venture mailings with other small website
owners.
In
every case, Becky admitted, "My mind switched
itself off to the possibility before I even got
to think about it." She simply shied away from
new the new ideas because they were "not like
her."
A
common thread runs through these three examples.
These
potentially successful businesses were held back
from growth by the owner. And the problem was purely
a limitation of thoughts.
Under-performance
is virtually always due to emotional issues. Do
you fear sales? It's probably related to lack of
self-confidence and fear of rejection. Or an image
that selling is somehow tainted. In other words,
it's an idea in your head.
Weak
marketing can be the result of a fear that you'll
be beaten up for blowing your own horn.
Refusal
to grow to the next level is almost always a knee-jerk
reaction that has no basis in logic.
Consultants
say that their biggest frustration is the failure
of clients to implement recommendations fully. Please
understand, the consultant has gotten paid in full,
so he has lost nothing. Still, even after paying
for his advice, many clients won't use it. Why?
Same reason -- an emotional issue -- a mental block.
When
you hire a coach for example, that coach's job is
to inspire you, push you, badger you, cajole you,
motivate you, and get you to move forward through
your own (perfectly normal) resistance to change.
He will "hold your feet to the fire" and
get you to look at your own automatic excuses.
You
know what those are -- they're the things you tell
yourself when you're facing something new and unfamiliar,
and your mind tries to make you refuse before you
can think about it.
One
of your biggest resistances will be the reluctance
-- no, the refusal -- to see yourself as big, as
capable, and as impressive as you can be. All it
would take is stepping forward and giving yourself
the chance to perform at a higher level. But you
may not be comfortable at that level. So you back
down.
That's
a lousy habit to have. It puts you on the same footing
as the companies who hire consultants then fail
to act on the advice.
And
it's only because you don't give yourself credit
for all that magnificent ability and talent lying
coiled inside you.
So
what do you do? You have three choices.
YOU COULD CHANGE NOTHING
You
can keep on doing what you've been doing. And we
know what that'll get you: no change.
If
you've been reading self-help books and getting
sparse results; been attending seminars and seeing
no changes; been doing your spiritual exercises
and spinning your wheels, you gotta do something
else.
If
what you're doing isn't working, you're either doing
the wrong things, or doing the right things the
wrong way.
Results
don't lie. See the next two options.
YOU CAN HIRE A COACH
If
you're serious about moving forward and making changes,
this can be a very good option.
A
coach's job is to help you reach your goals. They
may even help you select or fine-tune your goals,
but they won't tell you which ones to choose.
If
you don't have the slightest notion what direction
you want to take and haven't the foggiest idea what
you want to do with the rest of your life, a coach
probably won't be your magic pill. They're motivators,
not mind readers.
And
if you SAY you want to achieve certain goals, but
you end up always making excuses every time you
talk with your coach, you're wasting your time and
money. You're not ready.
A
coach is for you if you have a reasonably clear
idea what your goals are. (A little fogginess is
okay -- a coach can help you clarify your own thinking.)
A
coach can be the one person in your life who refuses
to accept your lame excuses and asks you why you
didn't do what you said you would.
But
do bear in mind that a coach-client relationship,
like any other, only works if there is good personal
chemistry. The first coach you talk with may not
be a match. For that reason you should plan on checking
out a few. You'll know when you find somebody who
"clicks" with you.
Also
remember, that the coach is also evaluating you.
If they're good, they won't accept just everybody
who dials them up. Like the consultant, they want
to work with people who'll work with them.
YOU CAN BUILD NEW HABITS
You
can decide to go it alone. This is usually the hardest
way, but it is done. Every once in a while, somebody
breaks out of the crowd and begins seriously influencing
their own mental patterns. We usually call such
people "rich."
It's
not that hard to do, except for one tiny detail.
You'll have to learn to recognize and reject your
own BS. When you don't want to get up 30 minutes
earlier and do the exercises you swore yesterday
you'd begin, your mind will give you all sorts of
excuses why exercising is a bad idea. Especially
this particular morning.
And
when you set an intention to eat less, or study
a new skill, or call three new prospects, or anything
else that's outside your old pattern, your mind
will throw up a smoke screen of "reasons"
why you'd be better off not making the change quite
yet.
Learning
to recognize these excuses and pushing them aside
is a learnable skill. But it does take some persistence,
just like any new skill.
Persistence,
determination, discipline... oh my! Is this beginning
to sound like work? Well, it is.
But
there is one shortcut that can change everything.
THE SHORTCUT
If
you've got a strong enough reason, you can do anything.
Your
reason why -- that's the start of this shortcut.
But it's only the start. What really gives it power
is when you compound your reasons why. Combine the
power of several strong reasons that are truly important
and meaningful to you, and you'll find yourself
being pulled forward so powrfully that you won't
want to stop.
Do
this, and you'll find the discipline, the effort,
the persistence satisfying and even fun. You'll
begin loving the effort, even before you gain complete
mastery.
Of
course, you've read piles of books on how to set
goals and intentions. But I'll bet you got the wrong
end of the stick. While it's important -- even crucial
-- to be very precise about your goals, it's even
more important to find reasons why those goals are
important enough to do.
Try
this: instead of spending all your time visualizing
those goals, spend about 60 percent of your time
thinking about WHY you want them.
Want
a new house? Why? The typical response is "Er,
uh, well because I'd like to have it." That
won't do it. Sorry.
You'll
need to dig deeper and find things like
